How To Be Happier and More Positive – Secrets No One Has Told You Yet

In all my work with my clients, I’ve realized one really important thing. 

My clients didn’t really want happiness. They wanted peace. 

They thought they wanted happiness because that’s what society teaches you to chase. But, no matter how much you chase it, you will NEVER be able to be happy and stay happy. Life is filled with ups and downs, expansions and contractions, celebrations and heart breaks.

What you CAN tap into is the feeling of PEACE that is ALWAYS underneath all of those oscillations. Peace is not an emotion. It is under emotions. So the path to this is building the capacity of your nervous system to hold the energy of all emotions, letting them shift and change without identifying with them or making them mean anything about you or your “success or failure”.

This creates the blank canvas for more happiness to emerge naturally, which is a nice bonus of shifting your focus from happiness to peace. You can’t make happiness happen and the more you try, the more frustrated and disappointed you’ll get. BUT you can allow it to emerge more naturally through slowing down and trusting. 

The invitation is to choose peace over pursuit. 

Peace is what happens when you accept the full experience that you’re having at that moment, whether it’s sadness, anger, grief, fear, or anxiety. When you can fully be with that emotion can you only experience peace, and what emerges from peace is more happiness more frequently.

These three secrets you’re about to discover are designed to help you stop pursuing happiness and getting back into your body, back into feeling the discomfort that can sometimes come with uncomfortable emotions so that you can let go of the pursuit and relax into peace and actually experience more happiness as a result. This takes practice because you’ve been conditioned away from feeling their emotions. You’ve been conditioned to pursue to make it happen and even try to force it using your willpower. But there’s such an easier way to go through life. 

Step 1: Identify the Story

Your mind will make a meaning out of the emotions you’re feeling. If you’re feeling sadness, your mind might make it mean that you failed or something’s wrong here. If you’re feeling angry, the story is probably “that person did something wrong to me”. If you’re feeling fear, the story’s probably “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not worthy”, “I don’t know if I can do this”, or “I don’t have what it takes”. So, even when you’re feeling joy, you might have some stories too such as “Oh, this isn’t gonna last, when is the shoe gonna drop?”, “Am I worthy of this joy, all of these things?”. 

When you’ve been trained since a very young age to let your mind make stories up about your emotions. So the first secret is to identify the story. Once you know what the story is, realize that the story is not YOU and it’s NOT true. It’s just a neural pathway firing in a patterned way that’s been burned into your mind over many years and decades. And by slowing down and noticing this, you start to allow the electricity to fire in a new way through your neurons.

Step 2: Identify the Emotion

After you’ve identified the story, it’s time to identify the emotion. This can be challenging for some because society has taught you to “leave your emotions at the door” so you can be productive. But productivity is not achieved by NOT feeling your emotions. You might get a lot done but more often it will not get you anywhere. It is busyness with little progress. When you allow your emotions to have space to be felt, you start to notice what action isn’t aligned for you. And then, you can start to replace busyness with progress. 

When you align to the Truth within you that is beyond the logic of the mind, the action you take will actually get you where you want to go. 

Sometimes, when I ask people what they’re feeling, they’ll say they’re feeling “unfulfilled” or “hungry”. But those aren’t emotions. Notice if you do this as it’s very common. We’ve been trained to use the word “feel” in a lot of ways that aren’t accurate. Give yourself a moment to really identify or even just acknowledge your emotion and try to narrow it down — it is fear? Sadness? Anger? Grief? And once you’ve done it, you can now proceed to the third step.

Step 3: Identify the Sensation

This is often the trickiest step. It’s about bringing your awareness strictly into the body and into what is actually happening there.

The sensations will really help you separate the story from what’s true. And you don’t need to sit down in meditation to do this. You can do this throughout your day. 

When you are triggered emotionally, your mind makes the story. The first step is to separate the story from the emotion, acknowledge the emotion, and then bring your focus to WHERE you feel that emotion in your body. Then, as yourself these questions:

Does it have a sound? I

Does it have a texture? (smooth or rough, for example) 

Does it have a heat? 

Is it heavy? Is it light? 

Is it deep? 

Is it like a brick? 

Is it vibrating? 

Is it jumping back and forth? 

Is it moving around in a circle? 

Does it have a color? Is it black? Murky? Is it red and fiery? Is it blue or yellow? 

Does it have a shape? Is it a square, a cube, a circle, a sphere or a blob? 

And does it have a size? How big or small is it?

Now, this might seem really silly to the mind but these questions will help you remember how to actually feel your body and trust its wisdom after years of orienting to the mind. So acknowledge the mind thinking it’s silly and move forward anyway.

Identifying the sensation means pausing your action a little bit to actually bring attention back to what’s happening in your body because your body is where your truth lies. In your body is a truth that needs no external validation. In your body is a truth that doesn’t need to hear anything, even validation, from me or anyone else. 

Trust that there are signals in your body you can tune to that will guide you in every area of your life. It’s a truth beyond words. Yes, I still have mentors to guide me in areas that I haven’t been yet but I always trust my body at the end of the day for direction. 

And the guide below will help you understand even more deeply how to listen to your body. It’s a Personalized 19-page Human Design Report uniquely for you. All you need to do is enter your birth information. It will help you understand where in your body to listen and how to do just that. Enjoy and practice each day! Replace busyness with progress. And replace “fixing yourself” with “deepening awareness and acceptance.

If this post resonated with you, I invite you to join the “Human Design Applied” Facebook Group where you’ll find support and inspiration to embody your Human Design, align to your truth, and trust yourself like never before!