The Foundational Step to Actually Achieve Goals and Resolutions

As we head towards the New Year 2022, I wanted to talk about setting goals in a way that you can actually achieve them.

The key is to understand that there’s a foundational step before actually “setting the goal.” 

Because, trying to force a new behavior through strict daily action in order to …  

• reach a new weight, 
• reach a new level of income in your business 
• find a new, more aligned job 
• enter into a new type of relationship / find love

… will not work, not sustainably.  

This is really important. The mind loves the idea of you being busy with some daily resolution to move you towards a goal. It loves to identify a problem and use your willpower to “solve it”’. But it doesn’t take into account what it takes to sustain change.

So through willpower, you may reach your goal. BUT, if you’re not aligned to the new version of you after the goal is achieved, you’ll fall right back to where you started. 

Hasn’t it happened to you? You started out really strong for a few days or a week and then the motivation petered out. OR you actually stuck to the routine and hit your goal only to then end up back where you started a few short weeks or months later?

During the process of hitting that goal, you felt unstoppable, didn’t you? You felt that THIS is the time you reach a new level you’ll never fall from. And, when you hit it, you felt on top of the world. And then somehow you fell back down, discouraged and beating yourself up. 

This common phenomenon is because the mind is only focused on solving surface “problems”. It doesn’t focus on shifting the root of the problem. And it is fooled by busyness and activity that will keep you on hamster wheels of trying to fix yourself year in and year out.

And this is why goal setting rarely works. Which brings us back to the fundamental and foundational first step that comes before actually setting the goal:

Aligning to the version of you that naturally does the behaviors and daily habits that will result in that goal. So you don’t need to force them but they just happen. 

When you first align to the reality where you naturally do these behaviors, you remove resistance, realize there’s no problem to fix, and see that you don’t have to force anything. The goal just happens naturally. 

It’s like pushing your car downhill vs. uphill. No effort is needed because there’s no resistance.

To do this, you must first slow down and get curious about the behavior that you’re trying to shift in the first place. And ask yourself a few questions:

When did this behavior start?

Why did I start this behavior?

How has this behavior helped me navigate the world? 

Or how is this behavior helping me avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions?

Because the reason you have any habit or behavior is because it used to help you, usually stemming all the way back to your childhood.

• Perhaps in your childhood, it wasn’t safe or encouraged to be fully expressed and in your full power and creativity. 
• Perhaps you were mocked, called rude, or told to be realistic. 
• Perhaps you were dismissed or ignored.
• Perhaps you people pleased to keep everything calm in a volatile environment. 
• Perhaps you learned to suppress certain emotions that were ridiculed or that you were told made you weak. 

In the present day, that can look like not being in your full power, not really owning who you are in a business or not really owning your voice or owning your worth in a relationship, or not choosing healthy habits for your body. 

Quite often, especially with addictive behaviors like smoking cigarettes, emotional eating,  watching porn, or whatever the addictive behavior is, usually comes down to trying to protect yourself from feeling some pain you may have felt long ago. 

And when you can take a moment to realize this and connect to the younger version of you that created this behavior to get through a tough time, you can find a gentleness for yourself and for the behavior. 

And in this gentleness and space, you birth the seeds of a new behavior that can emerge. 

A new behavior that needs NO forcing. Over time, as you find a greater acceptance for the very behavior you wish to change, you’ll see change happens of its own accord. This is because you’re FIRST aligning to the version of you that realizes you no longer need the old behavior to protect you. 

In the most formative years of your development, these habits and behaviors get burned into your neurology and become habitual behavior patterns rooted in your unconscious. So even if you use willpower to force surface behavior change, the root unconscious protection pattern will eventually bring you right back to where you started. 

But, AFTER you align your inner world to the version of you who is fully expressed, feels safe, and feels all of your emotions, your willpower will absolutely help you in achieving your goal … and with so much more ease. 

Because you’ll be aligned with the version of you who no longer needs the protection patterns that keep you from weighing what you want to weigh, having the money you want to have, and enjoying the love you so desire. And it shifts you at the unconscious root level.

This process takes patience and gentleness… which the mind won’t like. Because the mind has been trained to like logical plans, steps, strategies, and action that keeps you moving even if that movement is a great big circle So, also be prepared to weather your minds’ impulses to jump into action without alignment but, this time, choose NOT to follow those whims of the mind. 

This is how you’ll be able to set goals and actually achieve them FOR GOOD. This is how I’ve sustained my weight at around 200 lbs after being 280 lbs for many years. This is how I’ve grown my 6-figure business revenue year after year by working smarter not harder. And this is how I’ve continued to be in more and more aligned relationships.

This year, I’m inviting you to slow down and create space. To actually take the time to understand where your behaviors and habits came from. To shift the root and align to a new behavior. And then allow the new behavior to emerge naturally and then set your goal. And hit it easily. 

Push the car downhill instead of uphill. 

I’m inviting you in 2022 to embody the myth of the Phoenix. To tap into the Fiery Truth of your heart that you suppressed during your childhood, let it burn down the behaviors and beliefs you learned long ago that are no longer aligned, and then let new beliefs and behaviors emerge naturally from the ashes. 

Notice where you’re giving your power away to others, relationships, or to a particular idea of who you need to be in order to hopefully feel safe. And flip it on its head. Build your own safety by feeling more accepting, more safe, and more aligned first within yourself. And then allow the new habit to naturally happen from a place of spaciousness and ease and joy, because you’re removing the resistance. That’s the invitation.

The 19-page Report that you can download below is free and can help you remember how to tap into that Fiery Truth of your body and begin to listen to and trust it. It utilizes the Phoenix Method I created along with the Human Design system to help you build trust in yourself and to feel more Safe in your Power. So you can create a life of Purpose from a place of Peace. I hope you download and enjoy! 

Happy New Year! Wishing you lots of Alignment and Goals reached with ease. 

If this post resonated with you, I invite you to join the “Human Design Applied” Facebook Group where you’ll find support and inspiration to embody your Human Design, align to your truth, and trust yourself like never before!